Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Chopsticks & Wrinkles...

We finally had chinese! In Chinatown! lol It wasn't great, and it sure as hell didn't come close to NYC chinese food. The exciting part was Brianlily's first chopstick lesson! It was adorable...until I got home and looked at the picture. O M G! I'm hideous! I cannot believe how much I have changed physically in two years! Between new mommyhood, family and relationship drama, and not working or going to school, I have lost so many years physically. I can actually see wrinkles (I think they're called crows feet) and a crease in my forehead!!! Not to mention tons and tons of weight! My god, I've got to do something STAT!!! My swimsuit is on the way, so I'll at least be able to get into a pool (not too much exercise with baby though) and I finally got Brianlily's bike seat, so I'll be able to ride with her soon. I'm just a little (ok a lotta) taken back by this aging process. I really look and feel OLD! It's super scary. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I'd be worried about aging, but here I am freaking out. Not sure if it's all superficial though, it also has to do with reevaluating my life and now that I'm a mother things are totally different. Do I have the things I had dreamed about, have I accomplished the things I had set out to? Plus...I think about death a lot. It sounds crazy but I mean like how much of my daughters life will I get to see? How long will my grandfather be around? My parents? I guess when I think of myself getting older, it inevitably makes me think about everyone else getting older too. *Sigh*

Ack! I'm a Virgo...we think toooooo much!

No comments: